Ricky Gervais Will Host The 2012 Golden Globes?

It was unlikely that Ricky Gervais will be invited to host the Golden Globes for a third year running, but he could be returning as the host of the 2012 Golden Globes. It has been claimed.

In the meantime, enjoy this clip and transcript of his notorious monologues from last year’s Golden Globes.

During the three-hour ceremony the 50-year-old British comedian insulted just about everyone in the film industry.

Thank you. Hello. And hello. Welcome to the 68th annual Golden Globe Awards live from the Beverly Hilton Hotel in Los Angeles.

It’s going to be a night of partying and heavy drinking. Or, as Charlie Sheen calls it: breakfast. Wow, whoa.

So, let’s get this straight. What he did was; he picked up a “porn star.” Um, paid her to have dinner with him, introduced her to his ex-wife, as you do, ah, ah. Went to a hotel, got drunk, got naked, trashed the place while she was locked in the cupboard. And that was a Monday! What…what did he do New Year’s Eve?

Anyway, welcome. The Golden Globes is a celebration of the best in TV and movies over the last year. Voted for by the Hollywood foreign press association.

It was a big year for 3D movies, Toy Story, Despicable Me, Tron.

Seems like everything this year was three-dimensional. Except the characters in The Tourist. Um, I feel bad about that joke. I, no…no, I’ll tell you why. I’m jumping on the bandwagon cause I haven’t even seen The Tourist. Who has? Um, but no, it must be good cause its nominated so shut up, okay. And I’d like to quash this ridiculous rumor going around that the only reason The Tourist was nominated was so that the Hollywood Foreign Press could hang out with Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie. That is, that is rubbish, that is not the only reason. They also accepted bribes. Lets… No, all that happened was some of them were taken to see Cher in concert. How the hell is that a bribe? Really? Do you want to go see Cher? No. Why not? Because its not 1975!

There were a lot of big films that were not nominated this year. Nothing for Sex and the City 2. Um, no, I was sure the Golden Globes for special effects would to the team that airbrushed that poster. What…Great job. Girls, we know how old you are. I saw one of you in an episode of Bonanza.

Also not nominated, I Love You Phillip Morris, Jim..Jim Carrey and Ewan McGregor. Two heterosexual actors pretending to be gay, so the complete opposite of some famous Scientologists then. Um, What? Probably. My lawyers helped me with the wording of that joke. They’re not here, okay.

There has been some great TV drama this year like Boardwalk Empire and The Walking Dead, so uh yeah. Talking of the walking dead, congratulations to Hugh Hefner. Who ah, is getting married at the age of 84 to 24-year old beauty Crystal Harris. When she was asked why she was marrying him she said cause he lied about his age. He told me he was 94. Oh come on. Um…Don’t worry, hold out. Just, just don’t look at it when you touch it. I warned them.

One of the biggest events in TV this year was the finale of Lost. One of my favorites. And all of the questions were answered. I have to say though, it was quite a complicated finale. I’m not sure I totally understood it all, but from what I can make out…I’m pretty sure…the fat one ate them all.

Shall we get on with it?

Our first presenter is beautiful, talented, and Jewish, apparently!

Mel Gibson told me that. He’s obsessed!

Please welcome Scarlett Johansen…

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Like pacman.

Okay. You know our next presenter from such films as Hudson Hawk, Look Who’s Talking, Mercury Rising, Color Of Night, 5th Element, Hart’s War.

Please welcome…Ashton Kutcher’s dad Bruce Willis!

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Next up, Eva Longoria has the daunting task of introducing the president of the Hollywood Foreign Press.

That’s nothing! I’ve just had to help him in the toilet and pop his teeth in. It was messy. Please welcome Eva Longoria!

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That’s my favorite film of the year. The creator of Facebook Mark Zuckerberg is reportedly worth 7 billion dollars. Heather Mills calls him the one who got away.

Next two presenters are funny, charming and down to earth. he is Alec from the Rock, she is just Jenny from the block. If the block in question is that one on Rodeo Drive between Cartier and Prada. Please, welcome Alec Baldwin and Jennifer Lopez.

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Many of you in this room probably know him best from such facilities as the Betty Ford Clinic and Los Angeles County Jail…

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What can I say about our next two presenters? The first is an actor, producer, writer and director whose movies have grossed over 3.5 billion dollars at the box office. He’s won two Academy Awards and three Golden Globes for his powerful and varied performances starring in such films as Philadelphia, Forrest Gump, Castaway, Apollo 13 and Saving Private Ryan. The other is Tim Allen